System without a System

This was the joke that we discussed today at the University. 3 other teachers and I were having a good laugh at the system collapse. Turns out that my Thursday evening class and that of 2 other teachers all overlap with the SAME students. That's why last week and this week I had no students for one of my lessons.

We also had a good laugh (after a bit of frustration from me) when I couldn't figure out what room my lessons were in. See on odd weeks and even weeks the classroom locations may change. They don't always, but they can. Or maybe there's another teacher who just decided to stay in the room where you're supposed to be teaching. I don't even know what to do in these situations. I just do my best to communicate that I need the room and that it's assigned to me. I do my best to NOT play the American card… but I'm afraid that my accent might give that away for me.

I'm really trying to let go of my expectations and the things that I know are 'right' and 'wrong' and learn to view them as 'different,' because really that's what a LOT of this is. I still think that cheating is wrong, not different. But the way rooms are scheduled and controlled, isn't wrong, maybe inefficient, but certainly different.

Even more language blunders

So the cookies I made a week ago were a really big hit. Everyone wants the recipe. So I worked to write it out, had Zhanna proofread it for me and at the last minute decided to title the recipe: Jeff's cookies. Well, turns out I wrote Jeff's Liver. Печени instead of печенье. Sounds almost identical.

This morning at ch^rch, like on most Sundays, I carry the offering plate during the service. Well, I don't know the word for offering plate, so I thought - tray. Well, did you know that the Russian word for tray and diarrhea are different by only one letter? Поднос and понос. I'm such a lucky man.

So I think nearly purposefully today during B!ble study Zhanna through an English version of this into the mix to make me feel better… Ehud is from Brazil and has a slight accent. Mostly it comes through on vowels and a few consonants. Well, when he said cloak today, Zhanna heard clock. Isn't it amazing what just a tiny vowel sound can do to meaning?

The powerful poison of Coke

You'll remember that several weeks ago, I mentioned that we have a new tenant in our cultural center. A rat. Well, the lovely lady decided to die this morning in the women's toilet. We know that the rat is a she for two reasons. One, the Russian word for rat is a feminine word. And two, she decided to die in a place where she felt at home, the ladies. We now know that we have two rats though. Because on Wednesday, Vicki saw them BOTH - and one of them is pregnant, so…. 1+1=35 (well, you know how rats breed…)

Anyway, on to the power of Coke. So Ehud says to me last week that we should try and feed our rats some Coca-Cola. So on Wednesday last week, I left some cups out for our rats… and - well, we don't know if it was the coke or the poison that's been out for weeks, or a combo, but the first one died. Apparently, like birds, rats are unable to expel gas from their systems (e.g. no belching or tooting) so the bubbles in our beloved nectar, kills them.

Maybe I should stop drinking the stuff altogether, but I love it so… (well, pepsi better than coke, but it's all the same in the gut.

Faithfulness

Ps 13 and 1 John 5 Wow. It was exactly what I needed today. If you've been reading along with me this last week, you'll have obviously noted that I've been having a rough week. Well, before the foundation of time, G0d planned a Russian national holiday for this Friday. It was SO what I needed. I had the whole day yesterday to clean, to relax, to read, to organize, to think, to cook, to just be. I've been experiencing the overwhelming desire to control everything (which is a sure fire symptom of culture stress). I think it's also just there's a LOT going on and Jim and Sally are back in the States and it's falling to me for the time being.

Back to the reading. It was really just the exact encouragement that I needed to read this morning. It's Saturday now and I'm about to delve into the wonderful world of Russian grammar again, but these words are really uplifting:

"But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the L0rd for he has been good to me."

So - I guess I won't sing as no one needs their ears to bleed today, but nonetheless, the bad streak is broken and I'm baa-aack!

Random note: today I baked pistachio bread… mmm-mmmm delicious.

More silly language humor

Did you know that the Russian word for clipboard doesn't exist? Instead you say - a desk board for viewing with a clamp. There is also no simple way to say jet lag or challenge. Language learning is fun! But they also have more than one way to say to try. And I'll be honest - I like having the distinction of try and TRY (like really try).

Encouraging news!

Today at my Russian lesson, Tatiana, informed me that she was sad. Vicki, an Englishwoman who has been studying here since November is leaving this Friday. Tatiana started thinking about my leaving in May and she said to me, "Jeff, you absolutely have to keep your Russian skills sharp. Find a way to use your Russian to return to us, because students don't easily achieve such language skills. You must not let this year of your life become a waste by letting your skills become rusty." And then she attacked my essay with her red pen. I was sad that there was so much red and said as much to her.

She then retorted that I had best not talk down about how many mistakes I'm making, because my writing style is completely different now. Now I get marked down for advanced errors instead of simple child-like errors.

Well, I'm encouraged and still frustrated. I have pulled myself up from my bootstraps and decided that I need to continue to approach Russian as a lifelong quest to know the culture, language, and people of this great country. So today I redouble (and retriple) my efforts to learn Russian verbal participles! Yes!

Bad Day(s)

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

It's been a couple of those days. Certainly G0d must be teaching me something… I'm just going to have to be patient to figure out what it is that He's teaching me. Let me recount for you a few of the things that have happened in the past couple of days:

• I broke my laptop computer keyboard (really broke the 'x' key)
• I couldn't get my printer to work (it was turned off).
• I made cookies and as I was preparing the dough, I realized that the brown sugar had been open and had hardened. (I went to the store in -25 degree weather and bought more)
• Then I didn't have eggs for the cookies. (I went to the store and broken the eggs I bought, and bought new eggs. The first store I went to, you'll remember, was closed).
• The internet stopped working when I really needed it to prepare for teaching literature.
• So I took a shower… cold… hot… cold… hot
• I couldn't find the keys to Jim's garage or to the car (they were in my coat pocket).
• I walked in the apartment, just after pr@ying that God would help me find the keys for the garage and the car and I found them! And then I couldn't find my apartment keys. I ALWAYS hang them on this little hook when I get home… they were INSIDE my hat!

Ugh! They are all these little tiny things that don't really matter by themselves… I feel like I'm making a mountain out of a molehill… (I think Russians say, make an elephant out of an ant). Anyway - please send some pr@yers up that I'll stay alive as I drive Jim's car for the first time alone today in Russia. It's snowing quite a bit and it's fairly cold - so let's hope it even starts… that I don't have to shovel for an hour just to get to the car!

Here's to adventure!

Jeff and his meeting with Mr. Murphy

When I did my Russian homework today and the topic was, "If you knew the world was going to end tomorrow, what would you do," I should have started wondering about my day. But I didn't.

When I left the apartment and there was SMOKE coming from a crack in the earth near the apartment in the middle of a -15 degree Fahrenheit day, I should have starting thinking that it could be that kind of day. But I didn't.

I went to my Russian lesson and it went pretty well, although most of the time I leave with my brain feeling fried. Today we covered present participles and two kinds of past participles and also talked about something that I don't know the English words for! Tatiana has decided that I can handle 15 minutes more each lesson, so I'm studying 45 minutes more each week (which is great on one hand), but my brain fries pretty much every lesson now.

Tonight at English Discussion club we're discussing values for WEEK 4! And we decided to have a potluck, so I promised banana bread and a special cookie concoction (Amy Russell cookies for those that know them, but I had to modify them a bit because of lack of ingredients. They are still delicious!)

Turns out my brown sugar was dried up since Thursday. So I had to outfit myself once again against the cold and head to the store. I got the brown sugar and headed home. Ehud and I were in the kitchen laughing that I was having "one of those days" when I was making the dough. Butter, peanut butter, vanilla, sugar, brown sugar, eggs… eggs? We're out of eggs!

So I figure this just is supposed to be that kind of day. So I ran to the closest store (literally less than a block). And I couldn't get the door to open. That's when I saw the sign. Closed until 3:30. Well it was 2:15! So I trekked up the street to the next closest store maybe 10 minutes further on. I was SO thankful that they had eggs. The woman presented them to me in their little bag and I declined her offer to buy a carton.

And the bag ripped open on the steps.

I bought more eggs. I bought the carton too.

I baked cookies. I only burned one batch.

I'm afraid to leave the apartment later to go to English lessons and Discussion club. Here's to the scissor kick that comes with slipping on the ice and making it there and back in one piece! (I'm trying to keep good humor!)

The PICTURE blog

Prepare yourselves...

Minstrels from our train ride

Zoya, English teacher

Daniel's army dance

How cute are they?

Little girls with big girls!

More dancing

Traditional costumes

Me sharing at the 'press conference'

Igor learning how to make tortillas

Igor and Daniel helping me cook Mexican.

What's that smell?

Oh, yeah, that's me! I haven't had a shower in 3 days. Nor have I had (sorry for the level of detail) a sit down bathroom experience either. I really like going to visit the villages, because it reminds me to not take for granted what I have, and to remember that we're all the same. In so many ways, the simple life is incredible. I'm starting to fear reverse culture shock already and desiring to prepare myself for the return to the states at the end of May. I think I'm going to start researching on the internet.

Oh, and here's the REALLY interesting thing about what's that smell. I smell like a Russian now. I don't really know how to describe the difference, it's not a particularly 'bad' thing, just different than American sweat. I think it's because the bulk of the food that I eat now is Russian, so my body has changed. It's probably the HUGE quantity of garlic and onions that I consume here… along with the beets and cabbage. I'm telling you - if I get the chance to cook you dinner, you're in for a treat - because it's better than you imagine!

Knowing G0d's Will or the One Where Jeff Speaks in Russian with almost 30 People.

So I looked up the word circumstances this morning so I'd be ready to share a message at the local ch^rch in Troitsky (Talitsa). Turns out that was a good thing, because I did need to use it. I based my message on Henry Blackaby's book Experiencing G0d. The main theme of this book is, how can we know the will of G0d for our lives? He mentions 5 methods we should use to seek His will.
1. The B!ble
2. Pr@yer
3. H0ly Sp!rit
4. The Ch^rch (people)
5. Circumstances in our lives

I really loved going through this book and workbook with the youthgroup guys several years ago and I've recently been revisiting this topic (Knowing His Will) as Amy and I continue to discuss our future together.

So it was wonderful to have the opportunity to speak there and I was a bit nervous with Zoya there because she's an INTERPRETER at our camp program, but I really felt like I need to take the risks and chances, but get used to speaking Russian as much as possible. I made some mistakes, but the main message was clear and understood! AND the crazy cool thing is that they just finished a series about knowing His will and my message absolutely PERFECTLY fit in with what they've been talking about. AND - get this - I mentioned 1 Timothy 3:1 "Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer he desires a noble task." All about leadership. That is their NEXT topic. Isn't that cool?!

The Press Conference

The press conference was really the highlight. It's always tough because the basic questions always start off with: 1) Do you like the politics of George W.? 2) What do you think of Russian girls? 3) What American music do you like? 4) And w hat do you like about Russia?

Here are my basic responses. I do like being able to share who I am in this format, because I tend to TANGENT and talk all over the place.

1) Honestly, I don't like politics at all and I know very little about it. It seems to me that discussing politics always ends up dividing people and it's just plain something that's never been my interest. It's kind of a lame answer, but I really don't like politics (this all started in high school). So I usually share something like this. And I also ask them what they think of their own president? They usually don't want to answer.

2) I don't need to think about Russian girls, because I have a really smart, beautiful, and incredible American girl I'm going to marry in July! I really don't look, don't desire to look and am dedicated to her. And almost always, they say… you're not married yet. So you can look or do whatever you want now! To that, I answer that the B!ble teaches about being faithful even before you're married. I've been faithful to her for 34 years already and we've only got 3.5 more months… I'm (L0rd willing) not going to mess it up now!) They want me to say that they're prettier than American girls. They really do.

This time around it ended up a twenty minute talk about purity and dressing in ways that are appropriate to how you want to portray yourself. I like to ask them if they've seen the Julia Roberts film "Pretty Woman." It's so funny to me that she plays a hooker in that movie and she's wearing more clothes than half the kids in high school now-a-days. I really don't think of myself as a prude, but I just don't think that mean trying to live their lives in purity need to see all that flesh! Okay, stepping off the soapbox. - yike.

3) Well, the music I listen to mostly, you probably have never heard, because I don't listen to much American pop music (which is almost the entire radio here in Russia). So I name a few popular bands that I know something about and they get excited. Then I tell them that I listen to mostly Chr!stian music, old music from my childhood or showtunes. They don't know what any of these are… So I promised to get them some so they could here what I listen to.

4) What I like about Russia is so hard to cover. There's so much. I like the people (hospitality, traditions, history, once you're in as a friend - don't mess around). I like the language, even though it boggles the mind. I like the food (it's useful for health, you know? (a really common Russian phrase)). I also enjoy learning about their culture because it helps me to better understand my own. And I especially like their thirst for knowledge. But the flipside to this is that I've really learned about some things that are VERY VERY hard for me to deal with. Like cheating. It's very common here.

So that launched me into another HUGE conversation about what does cheating mean and where does it end. Because it starts on your second grade spelling test, but it ends when you give someone the wrong shot in the hospital and their muscle control starts deteriorating! (I know someone this happened too.)

Does cheating stop when you leave the school? Or do you cheat on your friends, and in the market and on your wife. You should have seen the looks. They were shocked and almost all agreed with me that such a simple thing has really become a cultural problem. Man.

On Being Famous for a Day

Pretty much anyone who knows me, is not surprised to learn that I'm an extrovert. However, somehow I've managed to pick up some shyness or something about being the sole focus of attention for large amounts of time. Especially when it's just because I'm American and I've done nothing to particularly draw attention to myself.

So Zoya, the English teacher in the Troitsky village (it's near Talitsa) invited me to come and speak to her English students. Turns out, it was a little bit more than the English competition I was expecting. Students had been invited from 6 different schools to gather together for an entire afternoon's field trip to "Meet the American." This was our schedule:

• School Tour with the Director (Principal)
• Dance concert of school students
• What do you know about the USA competition
• Award presentation for the game winners
• Press Conference with yours truly
• Autograph session with special guest

And I'm not kidding or exaggerating. It was so fun and tiring. The students were really great. The dancing was surprisingly awesome. Everyone from little 8 year olds up to 16! I'll post some pictures. Igor's youngest brother Daniel's dance group was a HIT! They were little soldier acrobats! Really cool.

To Talitsa on the Electric Train

So there was LOTS and lots of talk before Igor and I boarded the electrichka (electric train) about how it could be dirty, cold, smelly, and really packed with people. Turns out it was clean, new, nicely warmed and full of friendly people (even though over half the men were drinking beer). Really the only annoying thing was about 30 minutes of bad Russian dance music played on someone's cell phone.

The ride to Talitsa was 2.25 hours and went much quicker than I thought it would. Igor and I struck up a great conversation with topics ranging from movies he's seen recently, to super powers we would choose for ourselves (I had just seen the newest Superman movie), to electronics, computers and our mentorship relationship together. I am SO thankful that I can even have these conversations with him. Just a year ago, I can't imagine that we'd have talked about technology and the speed of a computer or the amount of Gigabytes on an iPod. Oh, incidentally, he chose never dying and no experience of physical pain as his super power. I chose the ability to close my eyes and change my physical location (and the location of anyone touching me) to any place I can think of). That way - I can go and visit Amy or America or Russia any time!)

We arrived safely and were immediate met with a delicious Russian meal (Igor's mom, Galina, is a trained chef!)

Busy weekends ahead

Get ready for the whirlwind tour of Teaching! I'm teaching a high school English class tomorrow, followed by an electric train ride to neighboring Talitsa where I'll be the head judge of an English competition (working with the local ch^rch) and then I'll be sharing a message on Sunday with the local congregation. I'll take photos and post an update as soon as I'm back. Probably Sunday or Monday!

Chilly days bring cravings for Chili

Yesterday I made some chili. I found chili powder at a store… and I just gotta be honest. It is the best tasting chili! I think mostly because it tastes like home. For my 'american' meal I had, chili (2 cans of red beans, 1 can of corn, 1/2 kilo beef, ketchup, garlic, a little sugar, and water) Mmmmmmmm-mmmmm good. I added a bit of cheese and sour cream too. I also made homemade cheese muffins and had some pepsi…

Sometimes you just have to have a meal that tastes like home. Yes!

My name is...

Mayonnaise Alexander. I was greeted with this phrase today. I was meeting a new person who was at the cultural center today. I had just introduced myself to him in Russian (but obviously I'm not a Russian by my name. It's just not Russian at all.

So the guy responds to me and says, "Mayonnaise Alexander". So I think. Okay - is he making fun of me? Maybe I said something wrong? Um.... "Colby Jack" or maybe "Pepper Jack" or "Mustard Mike". But no....

Follow the parallel syllables with me:
May - on - naise - Alexander
My - - name is - Alexander

Laughter is such good medicine. I'm almost at 100% after the cold of 40+ hours of sleep...It's like a full week of work that was sapped by this cold.

открыть Америку (discover America)

I've been learning Russian idioms the past couple of Russian lessons. It's the highest form of a language when you can understand and correctly use idioms. I'm excited to be learning some, but I'm really intimidated and it's VERY difficult to remember and understand them.

This one is particularly great! Discover America. Here's the situation: I live in Siberia now. It's February. So it's winter. Someone says, "gosh, it's really cold out today." You respond, "discover America." (tell me something I didn't know already). Hahahha. I think it's so funny.

I hope you're laughing too. Are you laughing? I think I just proved beyond a shadow of a doubt (an English idiom) that I'm a big language dork. Dorks of the world unite. Jen & Kevin, am I a dork or a nerd? or a geek? I can't remember what this makes me...

On Being a Student

from left to right: a teacher, Vicki (from England), Kunle (from Nigeria), me, Tatiana Yemelyanovna (our professor).

We all have individual lessons with Tatiana who is really an incredible teacher. It's so interesting when we have moments when our time together overlaps. Vicki is incredible at Russian grammar and has a wonderful flowing writing style. Kunle is a complete beginner and has been here since December. I'm supposedly the most verbal of the group with a bit too much slang in my vocabulary (which is good considering the population I work with).

Tatiana tries to use competition as a means of helping both Vicki and I improve our Russian, but it doesn't really work that way for either of us. We just have different skill sets!

Roommates

Time to meet the roomies.

This is Ehud Garcia. He's a Brazilian / American Citizen. He's a p@stor by training and he's here for 10 weeks to help out H0ly Tr!nity Ch^rch. He's been doing an incredible job training elders here and leading us on Sunday mornings and at B!ble studies.

Here's Vadim. He's my other roommate and just part time. He's usually here Monday - Thursday. He speaks very little English, but enough to converse and he's incredibly adept at conveying meaning even without language. It's been great having him around because I'm learning so many interesting words and concepts from him in Russian! He's from the Crimea region of the Ukraine (although he's Russian) He's been in this region for about 8 years, is married and has 3 sons. He is the p@stor of a group about 2 hours from us and is here starting up some B!ble study groups.

Cooking in Russia

So today I spent THREE hours making Russian salads. Whoa. I made two salads... they are really tasty and I wanted to make sure that I knew how to make them back in the US. I can't believe how long it takes. I have a MUCH better appreciation for the work that goes into cooking. Every day I learn more and more about the details!

This salad is called Vinegred. It's made of beets, potatoes, carrots, onions, peas, pickles, salt and a little bit of oil. SO TASTY... But it was many many steps to make!

Christmas in February

Christmas packages are arriving! Woo-hoo. Here's a picture of me full of joy!

Snowsuits

I'm not sure what I think is better... the pudgy little boys and girls stuffed into their snowsuits or the dogs. Seriously... I saw a dog in a full body snowsuit... just a small little opening in the back for the business end of things. It was AWESOME. I wanted to take a picture - but wasn't sure if his owner would think it was okay or not.

New roles for Jeff...

So Jim and Sally are back in the US for the next several months and suddenly I'm here learning even more how to be a "person of all hands," (jack of all trades). Last week I learned how to open up another one of our garages... really interesting. A double threaded bolt that opens one part of the lock and a combination lock with interlocking inner and outer circles. Whoa. I've also been changing lightbulbs and building bookshelves.




Dad, aren't you proud? Ironically - I'm not really much of a handyman, I mean if you've got a computer problem or the photocopier is causing issues... I might be your man.

Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup

I want Chicken Noodle Soup. Out of a can. I don't want to MAKE chicken noodle soup. And I don't want just anything... I'm looking for CAMPBELLS chicken noodle. Not just any soup mind you. The soup of my childhood.

I just slept 13 hours. Almost non-stop. I made the agonizing decision this morning to cancel my Russian lesson. And went back to bed. I slept for 3 more hours. Yuck.

The bug is going around and I'm intent of fighting it off.

I had a really weird fever dream too. My stove was on fire. I had my two cats back. There was a fox and 2 other wild animals in my house and I was talking on the telephone to America - friends at Knox. Weird.

Culture Break

I had my first real culture snap today. Someone was asking me about money (it's a pretty normal question in Russian culture). And I didn't want to answer. I got upset. I had a minor outburst… not a big one. I apologized to everyone. Ugh! I guess that's all. It's all okay now.

Movie Night

The last 3 Friday nights, Vicki has been hosting folks in her dormintory room for English practice and B!ble study. Here's the group from a week or so ago. We really had some amazing discussions from the parable of the types of soil. We also watched a really interesting new Russian movie called, "the Island (остров)"

Ice Sculptures

I've been asked to post the photos of the ice sculptures that I promised nearly a month ago! Sorry!!!! Here the are.

armchairs, kittens and rats, oh my!

So today we had a surprise guest at the cultural center. Don't mistake the Russian world kreslo (armchair) for the Russian word krisa (rat). We did not have an armchair visit us today, but a RAT! And not just any rat as the SQUEALS of the girls notified the entire building. A BIG RAT! Easily the size of a normal cat. In fact, after a lengthy discussion about the topic, we decided a rat trap would most likely be BROKEN by this rat, we would instead have to poison her (it's so fun that pronouns have gender in Russian. Rats are girls).

So Victoria is going to be our special little assassin and buy some tasty poison for our little lady and then we'll just find her body later when we clean out the closet where she's made her home. Let's all just pray that she's not made a NEST!

It really is creepy if I'm honest, because the center is already a basement...

What do you mean I'm preaching?!

This morning I got up really early to head to Vinzeeli to meet the family of a guy I know from camp. Turns out his father is a past0r of a small (40 people or so) ch^rch. And he had fully planned on me PREACHING the sermon. So pulling one out of my hat, I spoke for 40 minutes in front of an entire Russian audience without an interpreter. There were two aspects of this that were REALLY REALLY hard for me. The first, I don't read the Word in Russian. It's old Russian and I really really don't want to mess up something as important as the word of G0d. The second is I'm quite uncomfortable pr@ying in Russian - really for the same reason. I make a LOT less mistakes now, but I still make lots of mistakes and I don't want someone to misunderstand something as important as taking to G0d or hearing from Him, you know?

So anyway - out of no where I'm preaching. Glad that Tom always taught me to be at least a bit prepared to be in front of a group and share something significant from the Word.

So - I took a stab and shared for about 40 minutes about my life and the really incredible roll that G0d has played in it. It was such a pleasure to encourage people and let them know that not only does G0d have a plan for all of us, but He has given each of us Gifts and abilities to help us along the way. It was really a cool blessing for me to be able to share and to do it in Russian really blows my mind.

Men kissing?

A bit of a serious shocker for me today, and certainly unexpected. I was in another little village today and prior to the ch^rch service I was at their men's B!ble study group. At first it was the p@stor, myself and one other guy. And then four more guys arrived. And lo! they kissed in greeting. No big deal right? The French do it...

... on the LIPS!

Whoa. That's not a cultural norm for me at all. I was trying desperately to figure out what to do, are they gonna kiss me too? Big, hairy mouths with gold teeth and stinky breath! UGH!

But apparently, my scrunched up face or the fact that I'm a foreigner or the outsider was enough to escape the full greeting treatment.

I really do want to acculturate and be as Russian as I can be, but I don't want to kiss men. The things we do for Jes^s.

Another adventure

I'm headed to Vinzili tomorrow. It's a small village near the mental hospital for the Tyumen region. I'm going to visit a family of a camp kid. I'm looking forward to it, but a bit nervous to be in unknown territory with only my own tongue to sustain me! I'll post you about the trip and put up some pictures when I return.

The White Pine Stampede

Today is a tough day for me. In eighth grade I volunteered for the first time in my life. I shoveled snow with Susie Redfern and Kara Johnson to cover a road crossing for the white pine stampede. It's a cross country ski race in my hometown. There are typcially 3 races (10K, 20K, and 50K). And I've volunteered every year since, until this year. 21 years. Whoa. This would have been my 22nd year. But I'm in Russia. I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be, because this is where G-d wants me to be, but there are often moments when I'd like to be with Amy in Africa (or have her here!)... but today, I want to be in Michigan, standing out in the freezing cold, drinking hot cocoa, and calling out the numbers of the racers crossing the finish line with Eliot and Jason. Bert, Rick, Charles, Shan - miss you all, especially today! It's white here in Siberia and I'm thinking of you all.

Antifreeze

This is a hysterical story. This morning, Jim taught me how to open the garage door. I know this seems strange, but the locks are really foreign. There are two on the garage. The first is a combination lock that requires four numbers and no less than 10-15 turns of the tumbler to unlock it. It has an inner and outer ring and only 9 digits. He actually gave me written instructions and a diagram. Now that's complicated. The other part of the lock consists of a really cool "key" contraption that is made up of two interlocked counter threaded screws. It's hard to explain except to say it's like a cork screw that works in both directions, but has a bolt that comes out of the door when it's properly screwed in. I know that it doesn't make sense, but it's ingenious.

Now, antifreeze. Then we went to an auto parts store to buy antifreeze for Jim's car. I don't know the word for antifreeze. Neither does Jim. So when we got in the store, I prepared myself for the 5-10 minute conversation that would follow about what is antifreeze and could we please buy some. So I walked up to the counter with Jim and told them that we were Americans looking to buy something for the car. I said that I needed the liquid that you add to the water in the engine of the car so that the water in the motor doesn't freeze. They looked at me kinda blankly. So I tried again with another variant of the same sentence. A second man came over to the counter to help his colleague in understanding these crazy Americans. I tried a third time, we need the colored liquid that makes water NOT freeze in the car. The first man looks to the second and then back at us. He says, "Ahn-tee-freez" Jim and I laugh in embarrassment and good humor. Why didn't I just try the English word in the first place?

Sometimes it's so simple and we make life too complicated.