If you Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get out of the Boat

I'm reading this book by John Ortberg right now and I have to say after the preface and the first chapter, I not only thank Michelle Kramer for giving it to me, but also recommend it to you. You'll probably be hearing a bit about it in the next weeks as I continue reading it, but here are a few initial thoughts.

There is a consistent pattern in Scr!pture of what happens in a life that G0d wants to use and improve:

- there is always a call
- there is always fear
- there is always reassurance
- there is always a decision
- there is always a changed Life

Those divinely appointed defining moments will come to you and me. ... And if you're not looking for him, you just might miss him.

Before Peter gets out of the boat, he had better make sure Jes^s thinks it's a good idea. So he asks for clarity, "If it is you, command me...."

If you Want to Walk on the Water, You have to Get out of the Boat. What's your boat? Your boat is whatever represents safety and security to you apart from G0d himself. Your boat is whatever you are tempted to put your trust in, especially when life gets a little stormy. Your boat is whatever keeps you so comfortable that you don't want to give it up eve if it's keeping you from joining Jes^s on the waves. Your boat is whatever pulls you away from the high adventure of extreme discipleship.

Want to know what your boat is? Your fear will tell you. Just ask yourself this: What is it that most produces fear in me - especially when I think of leaving it behind and stepping out in faith?

Good stuff, huh?

Chillin at Home or the One Where Jeff borrows an electric heater

Well, gang. The water saga continues. There is no heat in my apartment. There is no hot water. There is cold water. There is electricity. There is steam heat POURING out of the second entrance to my building (I'm the fourth (or the first if you count the other way... then the water is pouring out of the third)). Anyway - we're worried that it's gonna get cold because it's supposed to be -30 C tonight (-22 F). Sasha and Zhanna come through again as the heroes of the hour and provide an electric heater.

Just had a brief conversation with Jean Willaby at my home ch^rch and realized that going to Kenya will be a temperature change of 100 degrees! Wow. I hope my organism can handle it (do you like the Russian phraseology?)

Anger at American Film and television culture

So you know that the bulk of the Russians I know actually think that America is like the movies? They think that we actually use the 'f' word all the time and that the word 'neggar' is a normal way to refer to African-Americans. I got so ticked off in a conversation that I could hardly keep myself calm. The person in the conversation actually was surprised that I got upset! I was ready to chew on some nails. I'm sorry - but I just had NO idea that American films really has foreigners thinking that Americans are like the movies...

Just disappointed at the perception the world has of us.

Blog of Blogs

Ever read a blog of blogs? I thought I might share with you some of my favorite reads online. When I'm stuck in a waiting moment (which happens a LOT here in Russia) I read something on my palm from the net.

Here are the blogs that I'm currently reading:

Get Rich Slowly
http://feeds.feedburner.com/getrichslowly

43 Folders
http://feeds.feedburner.com/43Folders

LifeHack
http://www.lifehack.org/feed/

Our Daily Bread
http://www.rbc.org/ourDailyBread.rss

LifeHacker
http://feeds.gawker.com/lifehacker/full

The Motley Fool
http://www.fool.com/xml/foolnews_rss091.xml

New York Theatre News
http://www.nytheatre.com/nythfeed.xml

Hack-A-Day
http://hackaday.com/rss.xml

G0d as Programmer

I had a really fascinating conversation about 2 weeks ago with my new buddy Dennis (sounds like Denise). He's a college student at the University where I teach, but not one of my students. He comes to the English Discussion Club. I usually see him two or three times a week and we talk about life, the future, and often times very philosophical topics. He brought up the topic of G0d as a Computer Programmer. I thought it such an interesting concept of G0d. One, it really helped us to communicate about such a complex topic, because of course, my language skills don't handle really difficult conversations all that well yet.

He's studying computer programming to work for an oil company (and English on the side) and my background has lots of computer stuff in it too. So we're able to communicate on this level really well. Here are a few of the more specific things that we talked about:

* He programmed for 7 days to create the world

* He also programmed lots of sub routines (smaller programs) that run on their own -- like an auto pilot. These programs include things like time (days/nights), gravity, and other laws of science that keep things moving along.

The Players

- The Programmer, is of course, G0d.

- Adam was the first program that was able to not only run and monitor itself, but to also reprogram itself and to be aware (the first artificial intelligence -- although it's real intelligence, not artificial).

- Eve was a copy of the Adam program, that was then modified to work well together with the Adam program. So for the ladies out there - you can always claim that man was the Beta program and woman the improved model!

- The snake program, or Satan, was created for good (like the internet), but was corrupted with some bad code that replicates itself into other sentient programs (translation: Snake is the first computer virus from which all other viruses stem).

- The anti-virus software (which works on all platforms, and requires no internet connection for updating), Jes^s, works for anyone who chooses to install it onto your hard drive (which is a hardened heart, until you allow G0d inside).

* The B!ble tells us that we're created in the image of G0d, who was the original programmer. What does it mean to be created in His image. Well, I think it means that we are eternal just as He is. The biggest difference is that we're an image. In computer terms a disk image is a computer file containing the complete contents and structure of a data storage medium or device. So we're like the original in some ways, but NOT the original. I think that this means we're eternal. But in a different way than He's eternal. We have a definite starting point. Once we exist, we continue existing. For a short time here on earth, we have a corporal body, and then that body dies, but the spirit continues to live. G0d on the other hand, has always existed. He's eternal in both directions.

So this is our conversation so far… it's so interesting to discuss such deep philosophical things in this manner.

Training or the One Where Jeff Shares with Everyone Why the Temperature Was So Low at His House the Past 2 years!

Woke up this morning to a surprise in the apartment. It's not much of a surprise now-a-days to not have hot water. Although it means I skip taking a shower for as long as possible (sometimes up to three days - welcome to stinky Jeff!) This morning however, the loss of hot water also means NO HEAT in my apartment. The temperature dropped from about 13 degrees since I went to bed. It's still okay in here - low 60's - and usually we're boiling in our own skins. But, if you could pr@y that it gets fixed soon that would be great, because it's definitely colder outside and you can actually feel the heat being sucked out of the apartment (no it's not actually a gale force wind inside, but maybe a light (very light) gently breeze as the temperature is seeking to equalize).

So, for all of you who joked and cajoled me, because the temperature at my house in the US was so cold, now you know! I was just training for the extreme winter sport called, apartment living in Siberia!

Sweating in the Kitchen OR the One Where Jeff Cooks for 3.5 hours

Well it's technically two days after Thanksgiving, but a group of Americans and Russians are getting together today to celebrate this holiday. So this morning I got up and started cooking. I first made my cinnamon almonds. I'm a bit sad that I won't be sharing them with my family this holiday season, but all the same - they're comfort for me too! Then I started baking. I made banana bread and chocolate chip cookies. I'm always scared of using the gas stove to bake because it doesn't cook evenly. With some significant pr@yer - the loaf of bread turned out! Yes.

After the bread, I made the dough for the cookies and made them as I continued cooking. I started shredding what felt like 1000 carrots (only 2.5 pounds) to make a Russian salad (so simple, yet delicious - shredded carrots, minced garlic, and mayonnaise).

Then I decided since the kitchen was already a wreck, that I'd keep going. So I made borsch. I learned how on Monday - so I wanted to reinforce my learning with immediate practice. It's pretty good too! I think I should have used more beets though as the soup is a bit 'oranger' from the carrots than it should be!

Maybe I need a few more lessons on how to spice it best, but I've made my first VERY VERY Russian dish and I'm pleased with myself!

Yellow Fever or the Innoculation episode

I had a very interesting trip to the hospital yesterday. They had the stuff for me to got inoculated against yellow fever! So here's how it went down:

Direct to the second floor to the room where we were told to get the shot. We waited for about 10 minutes until we bumped into someone who had already paid. So we went down to the first floor to pay at the cashier. We didn't have the right type of bill though, so we had to go to the second floor to get that one. But the person wasn't in their office, so we had to go to the third floor for her and then back to the second. There we waited for her. And she wrote the bill. Then it was back to the first floor to pay and then back to the second and the third and then the second. Then the certificates were filled out and we headed to a different office to get the shot. After the shot we went to a third office on the second floor to get stamps put into our immunization record booklets.

Isn't that crazy?! This is fairly typical for Russians when heading to the doctor. I'm not sure of exactly why so many people are involved, but I think it has something to do with keeping specialized skilled workers doing only specialized work and not pushing paper and making change.

So today I woke up and I wasn't feeling very well. I checked my temperature and it was up, but nothing to be really worried about. I had a headache too, but these were possible symptoms that the nurse told me to expect. So I drank a WHOLE bunch of water and tea and went back to bed for 2 hours.

Temperature is still elevated a little bit, but I'm feeling a LOT better! AND I get to go to Africa in 17 days and spend Christmas with Amy!

закакаться or How to Make someone laugh until they have tears in their eyes

So, this is just a funny note on language mistakes. I'm learning several different ways to say, stop in, drop by, pop in for a visit. So to say hop in I should have said, "zaskakivat'" instead I said, "zakakat'sya" So I made a non reflexive verb (meaning it's done to oneself) into a reflexive verb and I made a couple small letter mixups… so I said to completely poop myself. Just another in a long string of language mixups! I only write you about the interesting ones.

Shots, Immunizations, Pills, Medical Certificates, Plane tickets, and High Hopes

Okay, well I've already had my medical consultation here in Russia for my trip to Africa. Yes, Katrina (my good friend who has a PhD in Public health for those who don't know her) it was a scary sight to see the location where we went AND to listen to her tales of woe and how I could be close to death from the immunizations alone. I purchased anti-malaria pills (larium for those friends who are in Africa and know about the brands) and I start taking them this week. Tomorrow I get my yellow fever shot (and by a thermometer to measure and make sure I don't actually contract the disease! Lol). So your thoughts and pr@yers will be appreciated as I don't want to get sick.

I'm getting REALLY excited about my trip to Africa and it's really really seeming to be very real finally. I leave in less than 3 weeks! It's really real. Once I get the shot tomorrow, there's no stopping the trip.

Pickle Soup or You've got to be kidding me?

Today at the cultural center we had another little banquet. This time Larissa cooked for us and she made rassol'nik. It means something like salt it again. And it's soup. It's pickle soup. No kidding. It's got pickles (duh?!), potatoes, barley, and onions in it. And of course, in Russian style we add sour cream to make it tasty. Isn't that crazy cool though?! Pickle soup! Who'd've thunk?

Cooking Photos

Isn't my apron just gorgeous? Guys where them here without protest. I especially enjoy the extra frills around the neck. That's me on the left wrapping pirogies and below stirring borsch. I'm doing what I can to be a 'real' Russian man. This also includes putting sour cream in my soup and mayonnaise on my bread.

Waking up in Russian or the One Where Jeff Can't Find the будильник

I have two Russian roommates half of the week now. Vadim and Vladimir. Vadim is only here half of the week as he lives in a nearby town and is only working here part-time. Vladimir is the former past0r of our local ch^rch and is back to help out for a couple of months. So there's LOTS of Russian being spoken in my apartment now. And the awesome news is that 4 times this week I woke up in Russian! Isn't that cool? The first thoughts that I had (albeit very simple thoughts) were in Russian. So that means that I'm really making serious language headway! But I still have a long way to go. Vocabulary building and verb problems and ending issues are still fairly huge problems.

Language Errors or Another One Where Jeff understands how important a few letters can be.

So I'm working on expanding my vocabulary a lot and my instructor is really doing a great job. For example: right now we're going over invitations, how to accept them, decline, how to be very formal, or very casual. This is great because I invite people over and am invited over as well. Here's where it gets funny. I'm working on the phase, to pop in, to swing by, to stop in, etc. It's just like in English where we have a thousand variants. So I go to say this one (to swing by) and I miss a couple letters. Instead of saying zaskakivat' I said zakakivat'sya. The little three letter combo on the end is a reflexive marker. Meaning, I did it myself or to myself. So the 's' that I missed DRASTICALLY changed the meaning. Instead of just swinging by, I said, "I have thoroughly pooped myself!" I hope you're laughing so hard that you're almost crying - or crying outright. I sure was. I originally made the mistake in the car with Jim and Sally and Zhanna when we went to pick up my malaria pills. I repeated the story to my instructor today and she actually cried laughing. It was worth the mistake to hear her laugh like that.

Making Borsch or Jeff learns how to Create Another Russian Favorite

Today I learned how to make borsch. The first thing that I learned is that it isn't Russian, but Ukrainian. So that was an interesting piece of info for me. The second really interesting fact about borsch is that it has far more potatoes, cabbage and carrots than it does beets. (for those of you who don't know - Borsch is Beet Soup). One of the ladies at the cultural center offered to teach me how to make it and we cooked like fools for about an hour. There's even pictures this time!

After making borsch, I went with Zhanna to her sister's English class at the University as a special guest to speak English. It's so great to do something so easy and really be able to help people. They were so interested in hearing my speech sounds and talking about English grammar and especial vowels. Interesting, huh?

Linguists Unite! Or the One Where Jeff gets to Talk Shop for an Hour

Jim and Sally have had special guests for the weekend and the wife and I have a very unique and strange thing in common… a love for phonetics. We talked about sounds and sentence structures and silliness for a long time today. The others were looking at us like we were freaks or something. It was really fun.

Frozen Feet or the One Where Jeff Hunts for Boots

Well, I went on the second search for boots today. Didn't find exactly what I'm looking for yet, but as winter has dumped upon us fully here in Tyumen, I need to find them fast. My shoes are still cutting it for now, but if they get wet and then I'm inside and then back outside quickly they get wet and my feet freeze.

How do I know this… well - it happened today. I wasn't out long the second time, but I can't do this again. I'll get in trouble with my beloved Russian friends. So I'm hoping to find some on Monday.

Fruit Of The Spirit Or The One Where Jeff Eats A Persimmon

Ever eaten a persimmon? Honestly - I didn't even know what one was today, except a vague recollection that it was some type of citrus fruit. My new roommate (I have 1 until the beginning of January when a different one comes, and a second one 1/2 of the week) Vladimir introduced me to them tonight. They have a fairly mild taste, chew like a ripe peach, and leave a pithy feeling in the mouth that dries the cheeks and makes the teeth feel gritty. All the same a cool experience and one to notch into memory.

Ziplocs or the one where Jeff realizes that he's saving disposable plastic

I just washed and stored about 20 ziploc bags. This tells me something of my dependence on the conveniences of food storage. Strange, huh? We don't have Ziploc baggies here in Russia. We do have plastic bags, but they're just not to same for storing stuff. I do have 4 tupperware containers, but they don't seem to be enough and I haven't been able to find the small ones. Back in the US I've got like 35 of them… makes me realize how much surplus we always have. I guess honestly, I do miss the surplus a little bit though. But it's really great to learn to live with a little less.

I'm really missing Amy though. I'm going to ever endeavor to not take surplus time with her for granted. Only 4 weeks until I head to Africa! And Amy told me via SMS (text message) that we're going on Safari when I'm there!

B!BLE COLLEGE or Jeff goes back to School

Whoa. The past two weeks have been an absolute blur. My eyes are almost able to focus again. I've never crammed so much information into my head in such a short time frame. Let me give you the tale in chronological order.

On October 28, 2 American professors arrived here in Tyumen to teach at our B!ble college. The topics were the Prophets and the History of Jerusalem. So on that Monday our lessons began. From 9am - 6pm each day we had lessons. No joke. We learned SO much information in the last two weeks. The intention is that each course is a college level semester long course. Seriously the history of Jerusalem course seemed more like graduate school to me.

Both classes were phenomenally interesting and packed with dates and so information that I could hardly contain it all in my head. Especially when you take into account the meanings of prophets names, their contemporaries, where did they prophesy, etc. Whoa. But I'm not afraid of reading in the prophets anymore (in fact, the opposite -- I'm thinking of doing a special study in them) and then there's Jerusalem.

I've been interested for a couple of years in maybe going to the Holy Land someday and walking about, but now I'm really excited about going there and seeing everything. Jerusalem has SO much history it's amazing. I had no idea that the 3 major monotheistic religions all had such intense claims on it. Whoa.

One of the professors, James, decided to not live at the hotel the whole time they were here, so he became my roommate for about 2 weeks. And he inaugurated the opening season of Chez Jeff (that's the name of my apartment as a hotel). So he was here for 2 weeks, next week a visiting Russian will be moving in for 2 months, and in January I'll have a roommate for 3 months from the States who's going to be here working with our ch^rch. Crazy, huh?

My only big worry about the January roommate is that I can't speak too much English or it messes up my Russian. After two weeks in the B!ble college, my Russian teacher reprimanded me for messing up my accent and speaking too much English! She could tell the difference in my Russian after only two weeks!

I did learn a TON of new words at the college though. I mean, I listened to parallel English and Russian lectures on the prophets and the history of Jerusalem. I know such words as: pride, arrogance, to occupy, viewpoint, beast, slavery, symbolism, 'as a matter of fact', 'just in case', cistern, and many others…. How funny, huh?

Okay - this entry is too long. Sorry about that. Oh, and I did get two 5's! Yippie

A Life full of people or specific requests for pr@yer

Igor (sounds like eager) came to church with me today. That was awesome. It was good to see him after not seeing him for 3 weeks. We also had lunch together today. He's really been very bored lately, because all he does is school and he's trying to figure out a hobby or something. It's really hard to go against the flow here and not be overly involved in drinking, smoking, and other cruddy stuff (fill in blanks as you like) and he's really giving it a go. If you would just pr@y that he'd be able to continue in the right direction and that I'd be able to help him along, that would be awesome.

Dennis (sounds like Denise) is my new buddy who I met through our Monday evening English Discussion club. He's great. He's quite the philosopher, so our conversations are interesting, but really difficult for me. We speak mostly in Russian and not English - so the philosophical conversations are really interesting, but difficult. I'm having dinner with him this coming week, plus discussion club (we're talking about the differences in American / Russian Culture - - should be interesting). Thanks for your pr@yers.

Zhenya (short form of Eugene) is one of my students. He's studying in a special group of students who are entered in an English Olympic competition at our University. He's probably the best student as far as natural talent is concerned, but he doesn't always apply himself. We haven't had any kind of personal conversation - but this coming Wednesday I'm tutoring him 1-on-1 for an hour, so I'm hoping for an interesting conversation.

Tatiana is my Russian teacher. She's really a very good instructor and is constantly worrying about whether or not Russians are treating me well. She's afraid that someone is going to try and take advantage of me, because I'm a hopeless optimist and I see the world through rose colored glasses. She keeps mentioning how I'm a unique person and there's something different about me.

Attack Of The Attack Puppies Or The One Where Jeff Nearly Wets Himself.

So today I was meeting Sasha and Zhanna for a walk to a new store that's opening up on the other side of the river. I was waiting for them on the corner, so I took a seat on a concrete bench to wait.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a dog lunging at me! So I jumped up (about a meter!) and then turned to face my attacker head on…The tail wagging was so severe I realized that I might need a real weapon to respond to this level of aggressive affection…

It was a puppy in the midst of a pack of street dogs. The other dogs didn't take all that kindly to my sudden movement, but after I backed away a bit, they ignored me. (phew)

Then they proceeded to go to the cross walk, wait for the green light (seriously - I think they were waiting for a break in traffic, but it looked like they were waiting for the light. And then they crossed… with the puppy following the pack running amidst the cars looking like a little kid stomping puddles on a rainy day.

Drunk and Unconscious on the Street or The Reality of the Alcohol Problem in Russia

Walking home last night I encountered a man lying on the sidewalk. He was missing a shoe - which ironically was the first thing I noticed and I was very concerned for him. It just seemed so odd that he would be asleep there without a shoe.

I just felt really badly about it, and decided that I would pr@y for him. I know that it's not much, but I felt like it was all I had to offer. I'm glad that the weather isn't too cold, but after some conversations today - I'm worried that people get frostbite and worse when they fall asleep, because they're either drunk or homeless… it's dangerous to be unconscious here at night.

When you're cold this winter - think of us here in Siberia and remember those who don't have homes and have problems with addiction. Pr@y for their freedom and restoration.

Stress and the Blessings of G-d or the One Where Jeff almost Loses it And is Instead Gifted with Some Open Time

Well, I sorta hit my threshold of capacity for busyness. And I got very frustrated and had a pretty hard evening and start to the day on Friday. My Russian homework was MILES (sorry - Kilometers) above my head… I looked up almost 60 words for a half a page. After showing the article to two native Russians, I'm feeling better as both of them said that it was a difficult text and had many words that are rare and infrequently used. It's still my homework though.

The blessing came in the form of cancelled classes though. My class was cancelled on Friday for a holiday and I got a reprieve so I can try again to do the homework. And the professors of the B-ble college cancelled class for Saturday morning too - so I get to catch up on a few things (most importantly would be sleep!)

INTERNET or the One Where Jeff finds out he's not culturally clever

$120! That's my accidental internet bill for the past three months! Whoa! Turns out that I'm not as clever as I thought I was. You see, I pay for my internet by usage not by monthly fee. So I make sure to get on and get off when I'm using my connection to email or whatnot… But before I had my own internet connection, I was using Jim and Sally's connection. It's dialup, but at least it's a monthly fee - so usage doesn't matter. So when I bought the new Chris Tomlin CD online, I downloaded it through that connection overnight. Well, turns out that they're account is a time account… so I was ever stoopider than I thought possible. I just assumed that dialup was a monthly fee. So - I owe them for the extra changes. Awful, huh? Another lesson learned. :(